upside down

I was quite looking forward to yesterday's training session 'Achieving Customer Delight'. I put on my best lipstick and caught the 306 to the 'Hotel du Vin' on Newcastle's quayside (luckily it was in the afternoon so I could use my bus pass). The invitation promised a free lunch, which turned out to be French Stick sandwiches, so I was very glad I'd used super strength Fixadent that morning. We were shown into a very nice room with a wall completely painted with a Murial of people painting the Tyne Bridge, and a large chandelier made of upturned wine glasses. That must take a bit of cleaning! I was sitting opposite a lovely lady from Tynemouth who has just taken over a Victorian tea room and was explaining how she can knit a tea cosy in an hour. The man from Business Link called it post-modern chic. I poured myself a glass of free range apple juice as the trainer began his powerpoint presentation. First he asked which of the ladies around the table was married and the nice lady opposite nodded. 'Well missus' he said 'Would you rather your husband was faithful or satisfied?' To be honest I can't remember what she answered because I was thinking of what I would have said if he had asked me. Then he pointed to his powerpoint slide, and explained that in terms of guest loyalty guests are either 'frigid', 'flirting', 'promiscuous' or 'married'. Wondering if I needed to amend my booking form to ask guests this prior to arrival I asked whether in these modern times I should include 'Impotent' as an option to 'Frigid'. I'm not sure he heard me, but the two nice men from 'River Escapes' appeared to drop their pencils at that point which resulted in a bit of a distraction under the table. The nice young man from Business Link pointed to the slide and asked 'So how do you know you are married?' and his reply was 'When the sex stops'. I got a lift home from the nice lady from Tynemouth and heard how she is introducing real afternoon teas with cake stands and home baked cakes. I asked her what she thought. 'To be honest dear', she replied 'I usually find a nice moist portion of lemon drizzle does the trick.'